The IB
My Near Death Experience
06 OCT 2016
My vision comes into focus and I look up, seeing that I am on the terrace of a tall building. It is very open and everything is gray as if made out of concrete and in ruins. Buildings stretch into the distance, each partially destroyed but weaving together to create a post-apocalyptic skyline. There is no sound of any sort. It’s just that quiet. I look up to the sky, seeing clouds dark and heavy with the mother of all storms ready to unload everything they have. Everything—the ruined buildings, the storm-ready sky, even the air itself—seems to be waiting with the tension of an arrow drawn tight on a mythical bow.
My Experience
Suddenly a wave of nausea runs through my stomach and I double over in pain and grab my gut. I whisper aloud, “I don’t think I can stand this!”
With these words I sense something to my left. There stands on the terrace not far away one of the eeriest sculptures I have ever seen.
Standing out against the darkest parts of the brooding sky is a large egg-shaped sculpture. It appears to be made of curved bands of metal, crisscrossing in what seems to be a random pattern but in the overall form of an egg standing on its end.
I can also see small whirling patterns and hear their whispering movements slow down within. This interruption of the place’s absolute stillness I know is due to my spoken words, and so somehow, this thing and I are connected. Still feeling my stomach gripped in pain, I rise to my feet and do my best to walk over to the monolith.
As I look through the open lattice work, I can see gears inside. They are suspended freely in space, but anchor to an invisible and unique pivot point defining their sweeping arcs of movement in every different and imaginable direction. I notice that these are sector gears, the kind you see in clock-like mechanisms. In contrast to a round gear, these are only a small part of an entire toothed circle, therefore with a beginning, middle and end. As I watch the otherworldly dance of the gears, I can see that some are very real and definite and others are ghostlike. They pass through each other without interference, and I can hear the whisper of a light, clacking sound as they ratchet around inside the egg. I take a few steps back to take it all in.
best version of myself
I looked at the photo of me in Afghanistan and reflected on how many lifetimes ago this already was. To those who knew me, this was the best version of myself. But over the next few days, I began to feel differently about the man in the picture. Instinctively I was coming to see that my best version was the depersonalized conscious being from my NDE, in the In Between, stripped of everything that made an individual here on Earth.
Knowing neither joy nor sorrow, but flowing in the Impossible Now beyond time, in a perfect state of Letting Go.
The In Between then said to me, “All the Force of Will you need is found in the art of Letting Go. Always live life in celebration of the individual spirit. For no one, no thing, can stand before the brilliance of a truly naked soul.”
some additional photosThat tell my story
My Books
The In Between shows the quantum reality of time, entanglement and how all things are interconnected. Obviously there is more to its purpose than this, but it’s amazing how logically consistent the model is, the deeper I dig into it. There are entangled things that are a universe apart, and when you change the state of one, you instantly change the state of its entangled mate, no matter the distance in space or even in time. There are things that happened at the beginning of time that are, not will, affecting other things at the end of time. Literally, in between the two is only the present.
Taking it a step further, if something is happening at the beginning of time that is also happening at its end, then everything in between must be happening all at once.